"McLife"
- Thomas Hodges
(Lights up. Light music in the background. Theresa, a young, slightly larger woman in her late twenties, she is waking up in her bed, alone. The room is dark, it is early, the sun has not yet risen. Her bed is small, and when she turns her light on we see the room isn’t much larger. She sits back in her bed and turns the tv on with her remote, at this time she sees the audience. She smiles.)

Theresa
Six A.M., Sunday morning. A good solid time slot to be awake during, half the world is still asleep while the other half are taking showers getting ready to live. I however believe showers are overrated, only take one when you need one. You know I heard in some scientific study that if you wash your hair everyday it will increase your chances of balding. So it’s best to wash it every other day at the most. (Pause) Besides I have no one to impress, thank god. (She begins to brush her hair. She continues watching the t.v.) This woman’s been missing for weeks and yet she is still the top story on every channel. Doesn’t the world ever think that people just want to be left alone, she obviously left for a reason...unless she was murdered, which means her husband did it. (She turns back to the audience.) It’s true! In every missing person case if the husband or wife is killed it has always been their spouse who’s done it. (She gets up and reaches into her closet which is no more than a foot away.) And maybe they had a good reason too. (She pulls out a McDonald’s cap and a McDonald’s work outfit.) I’m not saying it’s right, all I’m saying is that sometimes people go a little crazy...and who can blame them? (She takes off her pajama shirt) This isn’t a nice world, and you have to be mean to survive in it. (She slides into her work outfit.) God didn’t bless America, in fact I don’t even think he knows we’re here. (She puts on her McDonald’s cap. The set begins to fall away behind her as she stands center stage, now speaking fully to the audience.) Seven A.M., the same morning. Now I get to eat breakfast with my co worker Donna at Duncan Donuts. A nice time to think about life before I enter the world of fast food.